You're Not The Boss Of Me

It's not unusual for people to make resolutions for the coming New Year, but how many of us keep our resolutions? We all tend to make unrealistic demands on ourselves or our loved ones. We tend to make too many resolutions with no real plan in place for how we will execute them. Dr. Phil recently told 'Good Housekeeping' magazine some concrete ways for people to set forth realistic resolutions that they can make and follow. For instance, if you resolve to lose weight, make sure you have a game plan in place. How will you lose the weight, how much weight do you want to lose and how much time will you give yourself to reach your goal? Without having answered these questions, you may end up breaking your resolution before you even begin. If you resolve to have a better marriage, then you must be prepared to be a better partner first. We tend to put the responsibility on our partner to make our relationship work for us, but the buck stops with you. Be more loving and kind even if at first it feels unnatural to you. The more you do it, the more natural it will feel and the old saying 'what goes around, comes around' definitely applies here. Another big resolution is changing employment status. Again, be realistic. If you are making $28,000 a year now, you won't be making six figures by the end of next year. Changing jobs involves planning. Dr. Phil advises to update your resume and get professional help from a job counselor to optimize your search. Also, consider going back to school at night to help you in your goal of obtaining a better job. College graduates earn quite a bit more money than those with just a high school diploma. Take a look at your expenses as well and see where you can cut corners to save money. Cut down on eating out, expensive coffee and satellite TV if you have to. Don't just live for today; plan for your future. If you want to get your kids to behave better, then be prepared to take a look at your own behavior and how it impacts them. Do you yell a lot or give unrealistic punishments (no TV for a month would qualify here)? Again, change your own behavior and theirs will follow and be specific about what it is you want them to change so you can both work on it together. Children need your support so be there for them regardless of how they behave and give them praise when you catch them being good. Finally, set up a timeline for yourself for all your resolutions so you won't give up on them by mid-February. Be honest with yourself about what isn't working in your life and set forth to change it. If you need to get help for it, then do it. As Dr. Phil says, "Answer the question, then take the necessary steps to adress your problem and you'll be living in a whole new world this time next year".